Just saw an email from Dellaena Maliszewski - awesome email

What keeps my mind calm through all of this is a technique called the "chill the fuck out" technique. 

As an incredibly empathetic person, I am sensitive to the feeling and emotions around me. (Bad days and attitudes are infectious so don't be that asshole!). 

I take everything in, sort what's actually relevant to the 5 projects I am working on and depersonalize any emotions from others. Always staying helpful, and en pointe. Everyone and everything will try to distract you. 

Emotionally invest in yourself and the things you're passionate about-not in what other people say,think,do. When you do-invest in ideas and then invest in the people who are making these idea a reality and can materially help you.

I explain it like this to founders I mentor:

"Don't worry about X person. Handle your business. Get that fucking money and get right the fuck on with it"

And-

Rule #1-don't get involved in other people's highly charged emotional shit

Rule #2- dont shut down communication channels

Rule#3-find a way to do business together with everyone 

Finally-and most importantly-be excellent to each other. Help others who may have been outkasted. Sometimes that means a "soft fire" where you get them a job somewhere else more suited to their needs. Treat others how YOU want to treat THEM as a true authentic expression of yourself.

Truth is:people are going to do whatever the fuck they're going to do.

You can't control them or read their mind. The only person you have control over is yourself. So why are you going to let someone else decide your feelings and future?

Fuck it-noone has time for that shit. 

People can intentionally try to emotionally charge you without realizing it. Fuck that. You are bright in your own ways. You have contributions to make and it is everyone's responsibility to each other to help each other and set a foundation for the next generation including creating environments that help us activate our ideas into action. Find your place and hold your ground.

They are not bad people-they've just been taught through social and environmental conditioning that its ok..that doing things as they have always been done is ok. Specifically, that treating people the way they've always treated people is ok. So it's also important not to get angry at these people, and while you should avoid them-when you encounter them or if you can't avoid them-consider it a mentoring moment and opportunity to study them, aggregate the data, and enrich your product or ideas through helping you articulate yourself and problem solve.

My final piece of long winded advice is that even in the most chaotic naturally occurring environments on this planet you can, eventually, find order. The chaos itself sometimes is the order and the stress we feel is because of unrealistic expectations we have or others have about this algorithm. As such, make one project in your life something that you own and have complete control over from start to finish. Use this project as a talking point and weave it into everything else. This can provide a foundation of order for you and connective tissue within your personal and professional life to give you peace of mind.